Tag Archives: Butter Battle Book

A Seuss-ish Butter Battle Cold War

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The Yook Chief made deals with other like minded spreaders. At first for their resources, the Yooks found new friends, ‘ventually forcing a decision ‘bout best bread-buttered ends.  Their tropical friends had their own customs too, but elected new Chiefs to try something new.  These new leaderoos, figuring “never enough butter,” buttered both sides of bread, sending Yook hearts afutter. The Chief Yookeroo thought they had been swayed by the Zooks, and the media attacked them, calling them kooks.  The Giperoo was young and a hero on the tube. He would reassure the Yooks on what was best to do.  There would be no Zook nonsense, no it must be contained. The radical Zook ideas would need to be shamed.  “This can’t go on”, the Chief would say, to this heathen idea they could not fall sway. He picked his best men, and lied of their hypocrisy, and installed puppet leaderoos in the name of yooocracy.  Far flung places were picked from a hat to engage the Zooks by proxy in geopolitical spat.  The boom-eroo complex moved along with great speed, Yooks were once again drafted according to need.  Yookeroo young began to line up for war; no one was really sure what they were fighting for.

Still all of this time, with fingers on triggers, more boom-eroos were planned and made and delivered.  More silos and spending to match that of the Zooks, no money was spent educating the Yooks.  More taxes were collected, but less money was made, and Yooks ducked and covered and were always afraid. Each Yook Dollar spent went to straight to the cause, pushed through Yookongress with patriotic applause.  There would be more boom-eroos, and boom-eroos meant more jobs, for the out of work masses that had turned into mobs.  Sound bites would tout the creation of work, from Yook leaderoo mouths with a wink and a smirk.   But not all Yooks knew booms or even –eroos.  The ones that did had numbered in few.  So no “real” jobs would gainfully employ, but yooocracy would cheapen the cost of Yook toys. With no money for schools, more Yooks wound up in jail. Idealistic Yooks yearned for this old way to fail.  And just for a glimmer, fail it did, a stand-in Chief was elected and Yooks looked within.  The Gipperoo waited from his Hollyook home, four years out west while a stand-down was sown.  Tired of shilling and starting to age, he could barely contain his zeal for the stage. When he’d get his turn, the Zooks would be crushed; out on top would be bread, with the butter-side-up.

By this time the boom-eroos were biggered and baddered.  Bitsy Big-Boy had no longer mattered.  The potential for carnage had gadzupled by far, and the Gipperoo was anxious raise up the bar.  If only he were Chief, the Zooks would retreat. There would be no butter spread on bread-underneaths.   The Zook “question” should be pushed to the top concern.  The Yooks would get the number one spot they deserved. Because the Yooks were tired of settling for less, the old showman decided to perform the show he knew best.  A deal was arranged, and some Yooks came home, and the dovish Chief Yook was removed from his throne.  The Gipperoo rode into power on a wave of support, to a “new dawn for Yooks” and more building of forts.  We would make more bombs and profits would trickle down, to the poor Yooks living in the poor side of town.  This scheme was a myth, making more Yooks broke, and ever more weary unlike wealthy Yook folks. Weapons were passed on to fight Yook wars, to shady new friends quick to offer support. Monies were funneled through third world regimes, and the discovery of this: a Gipperoo bad dream.  There even was a Yook financial crash, but this had nothing to do with the inevitable Zook collapse. The Zook walls that went up a while ago, came down because the Zooks demanded it so.

Based upon the Butter Battle Book, by Dr. Seuss